I'm back! ...sort of

First, my sincere apologies for taking a 6 month leave, especially without warning or giving a reason.  I know there are people who really enjoy reading this blog.  People with meniere's that need the support, the comfort of knowing they are not alone.  People that gave me their stories to share, but I never did.  I'm sorry.

Here's the reason... It became very apparent to me that working on the computer was a major trigger for me.  If I spend too much time staring at the screen I usually end up having a vertigo attack or at the very least I feel very off balance and just don't feel well...to the point that I have to rest a lot to get back to "normal".  I knew working on the computer was a problem for me but I didn't want to admit it.  Working on the computer was kind of my life... graphic design was my passion ...sort of my identity.  Letting that go was very difficult.  But I knew I had to.  So I did.  I avoided the computer as much as any human possibly can in today's world where technology is everywhere.  Obviously I don't avoid it completely (I am typing this right now), but I limit my time, I take breaks, and I pay attention to how I'm feeling when I'm on the computer.  It works.  While I still have vertigo and dizzy episodes but I know it's not because I'm straining myself on the computer.  So that's great.  I've figured out another trigger and I'm learning to deal with it.  The problem... I miss you guys.  I miss my blog.  I miss letting it all out.  So here I am.  I'm back.  But here are the "rules".  I don't worry about grammar or punctuation.  I don't have time to analyze every word, sentence and paragraph.  I just type.  I let it all out.  I'll post when I can and if I can't, I can't.  I still love hearing your comments, but it may take me some time to respond so please be patient with me.  Posts might be short and sweet.  They may even sometimes be dictated to my husband for him to transcribe here.  But I'm back.  ... sort of.  :)

I'm not even sure where to start to get you up to date so here's the gist of it...
we moved, (stress and meniere's, not a good combo) my hearing got worse...a lot worse, but no dizziness for over a month (yay!).  until....vertigo, spinning, headaches and just yuckiness (boo!).  still horrible hearing loss...it's stuck in the "off" position.  tinnitus, ringing, LOTS of LOUD ringing....I feel like I'm going crazy.  loneliness, isolation...even in a room full of my closest friends I feel alone.  these are my worst days.  i've had some good one's in there too.. they're just hard to remember sometimes.  but it's not about remembering the good days, it's about making today the best it can be.  so that's what i'm working on.... making today the best that I can.  I'll let you know when I figure out how to do that.

<sigh> It's good to talk it all out.  It's good to be back.

Much Love,
Shanon