I'm just trying to do the best that I can

I'm back from my trip to Indiana. I had a great time and really enjoyed my visit. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear much for most of the time so it was difficult to keep up in conversations but I did okay. Thankfully my family caught on pretty quick that they needed to speak up and look directly at me so I could read their lips. Luckily, no major vertigo attacks. Only felt a little dizzy the first night I was there and then a little the day after I got back, probably from all the driving. Anyways, here is a pic of me and the birthday boy!


Overall it was a nice trip, but it's good to be back home. EXCEPT for the fact that I came back to some unfortunate news...

I don't want to get into a lot of details right now, but basically some people seem to think that being on disability means that you can't have ANY enjoyment in your life. Painting, felting and other arts and crafts make me happy. I don't make a living off of what I do. In fact, I hardly ever sell any of my work. I just do it because I enjoy it. It's one of the few things I can do on the days that I'm completely deaf and not dizzy where I can actually feel somewhat at peace. I'm able to somehow tune out the constant tinnitus and forget about my hearing loss and just be free for a little bit. I can't do it every day. Sometimes I go weeks without stepping foot in my studio because the dizziness, headaches, and depression from isolation and hearing loss are just too much. But as soon as I'm able to get back to the studio to paint, draw or create something new I'm going to do it. It's my time to feel somewhat normal. I'm just trying to do the best that I can with what I'm given. I wish everyone could see it that way.

Sorry for the rant. I know most of you understand where I'm coming from. It's difficult to live with an invisible illness.

Much Love,
Shanon

Art Therapy

When I was going through some of my most challenging times with depression due to Meniere's Disease and the anxiety that comes along with it, I was finding it difficult to coupe as most people do. Unfortunately, the normal treatment for this is an anti-depressant, something that I didn't want any part of but was finding it difficult to avoid. The more severe my Meniere's got the more depressed I got and soon I found myself at rock bottom with no other answers. Everyone I turned to suggested drugs to get me through it. My family, friends and of course several doctor's gave me recommendations. But deep down I knew that this was not the answer for me. I'm more of a naturalist. I prefer to drink plenty of fluids and get lots of rest for a bad cold than to get hopped up on medications. So for me treating my sadness wasn't any different. But of course this was much more challenging than treating the common cold. Luckily, I found two things that helped me through it all, and still help me today.

One, was counseling. I think having someone to talk to and to teach me how to deal with my vertigo episodes was imperative. I received some great treatment through counseling and would recommend it to anyone who is battling with depression. The second thing that helped me though my darkest of days was art therapy. I found that painting took away my stress, anxiety and sadness. I even seemed to take away my tinnitus. Of course the ringing in my ears was still there but when I paint it's like it just disappears. It's amazing! Now I know what some of you are thinking, "I don't have a creative bone in my body, I can't do art therapy." PLEASE give it a try. You never know, you might surprise yourself! :)

Here are a few of my recent paintings. I created them on 6" x 6" wood blocks.

Bird Paintings - Acrylics on Wood Blocks

Start off with sketching, or doodling. Maybe try watercolor or pastels. Even paint by number can be therapeutic! I hope you'll give it a try and I hope you love it as much as I do. Of course, be sure to decide with your doctor if anti-depressants are right for you. I'm not a doctor and don't in any way recommend not treating your depression medically if it's what is best for you. What is most important is that you feel better!

Much Love,
Shanon

I think I over did it...

Well, we're not exactly sure what triggered it but I had a bed vertigo attack at 3:00 AM this morning. I have a feeling it was too much salt but hubby thinks it was too much sugar. At any rate I just plain over did it yesterday. After many meds and a couple sleepless hours last night I finally dozed off around 5:00 AM and slept in til 10:00.

Now, the recovery. The morning after one of these episodes I feel like I've been run over by a truck. A REALLY big truck. I ache everywhere. My tinnitus is bad and my balance is shot. Today, I will rest.

But tonight I have plans so hopefully I will feel better soon. Every first Friday of the month there is an Artwalk in town where all the galleries stay open late to invite the public in to enjoy music, food, poetry, food and of course art. My art will be on display at one of the new galleries here in town. I really want to be there so I hope things turn around for me soon. (fingers crossed)

Here is a sample of one of my pieces that will be on display tonight:

Four Seasons - Digital Illustration

I don't want to turn this blog into a "hey, look at my art" blog but it is a part of me. It is one of the challenges that make up "My Life with Meniere's". If you'd like to see more be sure to visit my fookaDESIGNS blog. :)

Off to recover. Have a great day!

Much Love, Shanon