After my last post I received so many comments, messages and emails all from people showing their support and understanding. Thank you all SO much! I am truly grateful to have family and friends who support me through my battles with Meniere's.
Unfortunately, my latest battle is finding out that I have been dropped from my long term disability. Obviously, this was some disappointing news to take. I found out a couple of weeks ago and ever since I've been on an emotional roller coaster and going nonstop to figure out a plan. Things have just been crazy...which is why I've been away from blogging for a bit, sorry about that. But, there's been so much to think about. Can we afford to live on Jeff's income? Where would we go? When is the best time to sell the house? Can I work again? I'm still scared to even drive, how would I get to work? Where could I work? Who would hire someone who can't hear and has to go lie down whenever they get dizzy? Ugh! There's so many questions with so few answers. But we have decided that it's best that we try to sell the house and rent somewhere cheaper and closer to where Jeff works. Right now he has a 45 min. commute one way so we're hoping we'll get to be somewhere closer to save on gas. We've been working like crazy to get the house ready to put on the market. We're getting closer to being done but still have quite a bit to do. Hopefully we'll get it on the market within the next couple of weeks and it sells fast! If not, I'm not sure what our next move will be. But honestly, we can't think that far ahead right now. We're just going to take it one step at a time so we don't stress out too much. I've already got enough stress right not to worry about my future stress! lol!
Anyways, aside from a couple of dizzy days lately things have been going pretty well considering the circumstances. I think this blog and all of your support is really what helps me through it all. Thank you all SO much! I always end my posts with "Much Love", but today I mean it more than ever!
Much Love,
Shanon
Showing posts with label disability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disability. Show all posts
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Saying "Good-Bye"
It's really difficult to say good-bye. That's no secret. But it's REALLY difficult when you REALLY don't want to.
Tonight my co-workers threw me a little farewell party. It was a wonderful gathering of people I've worked with and got to know as friends over the last 7 years. We enjoyed some yummy food, and had great conversations with lots of laughs. But in the end I had to say good-bye. Good-bye to friends. Good-bye to my job. Good-bye to being a graphic artist for a wonderful company who really cares about their employees. But, I never wanted to leave this way. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning on retiring there or anything. But I wanted to leave on MY terms. I wanted to leave when I was ready. I wanted to leave because I got an exciting new job, or was going to be a stay at home mom, or for some other new chapter in my life. But instead it's because I have Meniere's Disease. It's because I can't always walk down the hallway from my office to the bathroom. Or I can't hear what's going on in an important meeting. Or I can't get out of bed and make it to work because of a dizzy episode.
But while saying good-bye may be difficult, it doesn't have to be the end. I can still visit my friends at work when I'm able. And on my good days I can still draw and paint and create art from home. I didn't want to say good-bye to my job, but I refuse to let Meniere's Disease take over. I refuse to say good-bye to my life.
Much Love,
Shanon
Tonight my co-workers threw me a little farewell party. It was a wonderful gathering of people I've worked with and got to know as friends over the last 7 years. We enjoyed some yummy food, and had great conversations with lots of laughs. But in the end I had to say good-bye. Good-bye to friends. Good-bye to my job. Good-bye to being a graphic artist for a wonderful company who really cares about their employees. But, I never wanted to leave this way. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning on retiring there or anything. But I wanted to leave on MY terms. I wanted to leave when I was ready. I wanted to leave because I got an exciting new job, or was going to be a stay at home mom, or for some other new chapter in my life. But instead it's because I have Meniere's Disease. It's because I can't always walk down the hallway from my office to the bathroom. Or I can't hear what's going on in an important meeting. Or I can't get out of bed and make it to work because of a dizzy episode.
But while saying good-bye may be difficult, it doesn't have to be the end. I can still visit my friends at work when I'm able. And on my good days I can still draw and paint and create art from home. I didn't want to say good-bye to my job, but I refuse to let Meniere's Disease take over. I refuse to say good-bye to my life.
Much Love,
Shanon
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
FEEL BETTER
Yesterday I received some good news. Actually great news. I should be ecstatic and relieved by this news but instead I'm feeling quite the opposite. Yesterday I found out that my application for long term disability was approved. Finally, after all those months of paperwork and calling doctors for medical information, and forms and emails and worrying over how we'll make it without me working. All of it is over, I was approved. Like I said I should be ecstatic, but instead after I heard this wonderful news I cried. I cried my eyes out. Not tears of happiness or of joy or relief, but tears of sadness. Sad because this is my reality. Sad because I can't work anymore. Sad because I don't want to be on disability, I JUST want to FEEL BETTER.
I got my first official job when I was in Junior High School. I worked in a daycare facility taking care of children. It was a good first job especially considering I had babysat for a few years before. It was a natural fit. It was also natural for me to be working at such a young age. While all the other 13 year-old kids were goofing off and playing video games, I was working. It was important for me to have my own money and to have responsibility. This is something that my parents instilled in me at a very young age. Working is a part of life and I happily accepted it.
I worked various jobs through high school and college. As a waitress, a cashier, even a telemarketer, which doesn't fit my introverted personality at all but I was good at it. I was good at every job I've ever had because I was a good employee. No matter how much the job sucked I gave it my all and never called in sick or was late. That is until I started having Meniere's symptoms. Eventually the vertigo episodes, the headaches, hearing loss and nausea got to be too much and as much as I hated it I called in sick to work. I missed work for numerous doctors appointments and came in late because I was too dizzy to get out of bed. It was painful. I don't mean physically, although the physical pain was there, but the pain in my heart hurt more. I hated not being able to make it into work. I hated asking other people to do MY job. I hated not following through on MY responsibilities. But now I have no other choice. Now my husband tells me that my only responsibility is to feel better. So that's what I'm working on. Trying to feel better. It actually may be my most difficult job yet. On my good days it's pretty easy, but the bad days are another story. Luckily my boss isn't too strict and understands when I'm having a bad day. Hopefully, one of these days I'll start having more good days than bad and I'll become a pro at this job. And eventually "quit" this job and go back to the working world. Until then, I'll just take it one day at a time.
By the way, the picture in this post is of a gift to me from one of Jeff's high school students. I've never even met her but she cared enough to make it for me when my health and spirits were really down. It sits on a shelf in my bathroom so I can see it every day and be reminded of the kindness of a complete stranger. If you know someone who is having a tough time with meniere's or any other condition be sure to send them a card or give them a call to say hello. You have the power to make their day a good day.
Much Love,
Shanon
I got my first official job when I was in Junior High School. I worked in a daycare facility taking care of children. It was a good first job especially considering I had babysat for a few years before. It was a natural fit. It was also natural for me to be working at such a young age. While all the other 13 year-old kids were goofing off and playing video games, I was working. It was important for me to have my own money and to have responsibility. This is something that my parents instilled in me at a very young age. Working is a part of life and I happily accepted it.
I worked various jobs through high school and college. As a waitress, a cashier, even a telemarketer, which doesn't fit my introverted personality at all but I was good at it. I was good at every job I've ever had because I was a good employee. No matter how much the job sucked I gave it my all and never called in sick or was late. That is until I started having Meniere's symptoms. Eventually the vertigo episodes, the headaches, hearing loss and nausea got to be too much and as much as I hated it I called in sick to work. I missed work for numerous doctors appointments and came in late because I was too dizzy to get out of bed. It was painful. I don't mean physically, although the physical pain was there, but the pain in my heart hurt more. I hated not being able to make it into work. I hated asking other people to do MY job. I hated not following through on MY responsibilities. But now I have no other choice. Now my husband tells me that my only responsibility is to feel better. So that's what I'm working on. Trying to feel better. It actually may be my most difficult job yet. On my good days it's pretty easy, but the bad days are another story. Luckily my boss isn't too strict and understands when I'm having a bad day. Hopefully, one of these days I'll start having more good days than bad and I'll become a pro at this job. And eventually "quit" this job and go back to the working world. Until then, I'll just take it one day at a time.
By the way, the picture in this post is of a gift to me from one of Jeff's high school students. I've never even met her but she cared enough to make it for me when my health and spirits were really down. It sits on a shelf in my bathroom so I can see it every day and be reminded of the kindness of a complete stranger. If you know someone who is having a tough time with meniere's or any other condition be sure to send them a card or give them a call to say hello. You have the power to make their day a good day.
Much Love,
Shanon
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)